I'm feeling very reflective tonight. And I probably should - it's Maundy Thursday, the night when we reflect on the Last Supper. But this year, our church broke away from the traditional Maundy Thursday service, and I think that it was a good thing, at least for me. Don't get me wrong, I've been moved to tears and repentance after a good reenactment of the Last Supper, with disciples clad in striped smocks and barefeet, I've been affected by more than a few Tenebrae services (that cymbal gets me every time!), and touched by even the simplest renditions of "O Sacred Head Now Wounded." Those traditions have become just thatt because they are full of meaning and important truth. And I will be the first to admit that I think traditions are important and I find both comfort and meaning in them. But I also have to admit that in the past, after I heard those words spoken by the narrator at teh end of the Passover Feast "And the disciples sang a hymn and went out" followed by the congregations' silent exit, there were times when I was more depressed than moved. In my opinion, we get a little stuck in the act of re-crucifying Christ that we miss why He made that glorious sacrifice in the first place. Sometimes I think we feel the need to make ourselves feel sad and guilty for the three days that Christ was in the grave to make it feel worthwhile and important. Maybe these things I'm thinking have a little hint of truth in them, or maybe they're jus the exhaustion talking. You know the feeling, the tiredness that comes from trying to be a full-time wife and mom, a student, a church pianist, a webmaster, writer, etc etc etc. We are all busy and that makes us tired.
We're often busy because we're doing things for the Lord. This Holy Week is certainly busy for me, with some added responsibilities this year that make it a little busier than usual. Which leads me to our church service tonight.
Instead of the traditional Last Supper reenactment or other service, our church decided to do something a little different for the night: an Easter cantata, "Worthy, Song of the Ages" complete with choir and orchestra, videos, solos, Communion, the Hallelujah Chorus, and Christ emerging from the grave. (Don't be so shocked.... we all know how the story ends, lol). It felt good to do something a little different, it felt really good to come away from the service feeling upbeat and joyful. It felt good to serve, to share the Gospel in music, to have Communion.
The irony is that I was moved tonight because I didn't participate in Holy Communion. In the middle of our cantata, after a song about communion, our church served the cup and the bread. The congregation was served by intinction, the choir was served through Communion plates, and a kind usher brought the Sacraments over to me at the piano. At the time, my hands were too busy serving, and I did not take Communion tonight because I was playing the background music.
Although we try to minimize it, sometimes people who are serving don't get to participate in things like Holy Communion for logistic reasons. It happens and I'm ok with that. I would rather participate when it can be meaningful and spiritual rather than rush through just to say I did it. And that makes perfect sense to me.
But tonight, the sacraments that were intended for me sat on top of the piano while I played soft background music, while we finished the Communion time and resumed the cantata, while Christ emerged from the tomb, while the pastor preached, and while we sang the Hallelujah Chorus. I was so moved by the little plastic cup and the slightly stale piece of bread as they were sitting there on the piano, served just for me, but my hands were so busy that I did not stop to receive that blessing.
My life is a bit like that - God is calling to me but my hands are busy. Sometimes I'm busy doing things for Him, other times I'm busy doing for my family or even just for me. I know I need to stop so much doing and open up some space in my life to commune with Him. I need to sit still and listen, read, pray, and be 'loved on' by God. In this time of Easter, when we celebrate the unbelievable sacrifice that God made for His underserving children, I want to encourage you - and most of all, I want to encourage myself - to take the time and Commune with God. He has already offered Himself - with arms outstretched, and nailed to a cross - to each and everyone of us. All we have to do is take the time to accept His gift and receive His blessing.
I did finally take Communion, when the evening was over, and everyone was milling around gathering up their programs and children. I had a quiet reflective moment in the midst of the noise. It wasn't much - just a pause in my doing, but I was still. And I was moved as God touched my heart and reminded me to take the time not just to do things for Him, but to be with Him.
I don't know if we'll go back to our regular traditions next year. That would be very ok with me. Or maybe we'll forge a new tradition. That's ok with me, too. But I am looking forward to next year being a moment to pause, reflect, and Commune with God, with or without our traditions and sacraments. . That's what really matters.
God bless!
Posted at: 11:02 PM | Add Comment
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